Anxiety · Bipolar

Bipolar september!

Ok you lots I’m not going to beat around the bush my month has been up and down like a yoyo and I’m feeling deflated, scared and tired, so here goes

The Good

I’m still loosing weight about 3lbs this month which is amazing for me.

Bens back at school and has settled in really well this year…..always a huge weight off my mind

My Dad brought me a Husqvarna 600e sewing/embroidery machine (Will tell you why in the bad points) its taken a while to get used to it but im nearly there.

Works going well been really busy which I enjoy, so all is good on that front.

I’m starting a market stall on Friday this week selling craft stuff, frightened to death about it and will let you know how I get on

There was an article in the local paper about me being bipolar and opening a website

My sewing class has started back every Tuesday afternoon, I’m making a Christmas wall hanging


The Bad

Are you ready for the list.

Last month I told you I set up Simply Needlecraft which was great Anyway I then went on to see a Business Advisor/Mentor from the local council who informed me that Business grants are only available until your 30yrs BUT the government are changing this in the Autumn to any age. I thought great. He then went on to say that if he puts me forward I would pretty much get it. I had already seen a shop I liked and was a perfect size. He got me to ask the landlord to reduce the rent and shorter lease. I did everything he told me to do spent two weeks getting quotes for everything and it turns out to be a pile of shit its a government loan not a grant. It knocked me for 6 and im still devastated

My expensive machine off gumtree that my dad got for me has had to go to be repaired because it has got a “long existing technical problem” that will cost £400 to fix.

My moods have been erratic to say the least and tearful quite a lot of the time. And why is it you can have loads of support but still feel alone.

I have been told Ive got to have two operations. One is a hysterectomy and the other to completely replace my jaw. Both will take three months recovery time and both early on next year, which isn’t long really is it. Im scared stiff about both and the recovery I need to work or the bank will be back in overdraft Im self employed you see and get no sick pay.  So that 6 months of recovery next year…….Scared


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