Anxiety · Bipolar · depression · me · moods

When you really want to scream but you dont want anyone to hear

Ok so I’ll start off by saying that anger isn’t something I feel very often. I have quite a high threshold of what makes me truly angry. However over a week ago now something happened where someone I see on a regular basis crossed  my high threshold line and did something unforgivable.

Fuming was not the word, it took 2 people 2 hours and 3 diazepam to stop me shaking.  I just can’t remember the last time I was that angry and it’s not something I want to feel again anytime soon.

That night I slept like a log, i think the adrenalin wore me out.

However the next day symptoms of hallucinations, anxiety, insomnia and the ability to eat kicked in.  But for 4 days I kept it quiet and put a brave face as you do, telling everyone I’ve been eating. But on the 5th day it got too uncomfortable and I decided to ring the Dr and tell my hubby. Hubby treated in the usual fashion of keep calm and carry on, or it could be a case of keep calm and ignore it. But the Dr has upped my meds dramatically and I’m now being watched like hawk. Apparently I’m showing signs of being hypomanic but its the crash after being manic that s scaring the hell out of me.

So I’m trying my best to make this as comfortable as possible and doing everything my Dr says, hopefully it wont blow up into an episode and hopefully this won’t last to long.

I’ll keep you updated xxx

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