what life would be without meds.
So at the moment I’m taking nine tablets every night. Sometimes I don’t think anything of it and just carry as normal. Every now and again though I do just stare at them. It’s like it just dawns on me that these little tablets are keeping me stable, then sometimes I stare at them thinking do I really need these.
I often read articles in magazines where people have just decided one day to stop taking their meds, Steven Fry for instance. People often seem fine for a few weeks or months and they then off they go on a manic episode, go awol and then crash. But I’ve also read about Bipolar sufferers being fine for months and then for years after stopping.
I sometimes feel that the meds take over from who I really am but then I also think would I be where I am now without the meds.
It’s not that I’m unhappy with who I am or anything else in my life, there’s just a big what if.
unfortunately or fortunately however you want to look at it, I still remember my big episode and the hospital like it happened yesterday so coming off my meds isn’t appealing to me at the moment.
So it’s onwards and upwards with the meds.
Also this week I’ve started my design and stitch City & Guilds which I wasn’t going to start until after Christmas BUT you can’t really plan too much having bipolar so I thought I’d seize the moment and start it now, you never know whats around the corner.
Before I started managed to finish this small panel that I think will look good on a nice bright summer bag.
Now to get stuck into the design unit of the course…….I’m really excited. xxxxxxxxxxx